I originally was going to write a post on living in light of eternity. But instead felt the need to be more raw with my post this time. I would hate for the people to read my blog to get the impression that I think I know everything and that I live a perfect life, or anything close to a perfect life. So my goal with this post is to share my heart in this season of my life.
If I had to title the season of life that I feel like I am going through right now it would be “Going Through the Fire “. I’ve never felt like I have tried more in my life to be diligent in the calling that I sense God has placed on my life. Yet at the same time I’ve never felt like I’ve ever failed quite this much.
This has lead me to pursue affirmation from anywhere that I can get it, in hopes that the affirmation will give me fuel to keep going. But alas I continue to come back to the place where I just don’t think I can handle the requirements that the calling God has for me, are asking of me.
The one thing, aside from having an amazing wife who loves me so selflessly, and certain spiritual mentors who walk beside me, that has constantly given me fuel to keep going is this; God’s goodness! I have known God’s goodness so much in my life, that whenever I am unsure of myself I can just take some time to meditate on the reality that God is a good God, and it brings me peace. I know that no matter how bad the storm in my life gets. If it gets to the point that I feel, and even my closest friends feel, that I will die, as long as Jesus Christ is in my boat I can have peace. I can confidently say that, because God is good, whatever He allows me to go through will be good for me in the long run. His goodness brings hope in the midst of seemingly hopeless situations. His goodness brings joy into what seems like insurmountable sadness. And His goodness brings a wholeness to what seems like overwhelming brokenness.
So I would like to encourage you today, if you are struggling like I am, and you feel like you’re trying so hard, and yet failing so hard all at the same time. Spend some time today just focusing on the goodness of God that you have experienced in your life. What are some times where you have seen God’s goodness displayed in your life. Dwell on that, and let it be a source of peace and refreshment in your life. Cling to His goodness like a sailor clings to the mast of a ship in stormy seas. Let God affirm His goodness in your life, and let His love for you be the foundation of your faith in His goodness.
“…And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith…“(Hebrews 12:1-2 NLT)